satire

130 DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS

130 DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS
http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-images-cup-hot-chocolate-image4640014

130 DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS

by Danielle Childers

Much to the chagrin of my husband who does not in any form or fashion enjoy watching Christmas movies every month and every season, I love Christmas.  I saved this post for August, because I really wanted to emphasize just how much I’m obsessed with the holiday cheer. It’s not December, and it’s not Christmas in July. I just really love Christmas. Ask my colleagues. Christmas is my only Pandora station.

So, I’m currently reading THE FAT MAN: A TALE OF NORTH POLE NOIR by Ken Harmon featuring Gumdrop Coal. He’s an angry elf.  It’s so satirical and

still kind all at the same time. It’s brilliant! There’s a mistletoe forest and an eye shooting BB gun. I could die of Christmas overload. I love it. It reminds me of a holiday version of John Hartness’s THE BLACK KNIGHT CHRONICLES. Comparable snark minus the vampires!

So, during my summer time winterfest and during the 198th time I’ve watched The Santa Clause starring Tim Allen (one of the best Christmas movies ever and in my top 5 favorite movies of all time) I happened to notice that there are . . . wait for it . . . RECIPES in the bonus material of the dvd!  It was foodie contemporary before its time!!!  One of the recipes was for Wolfgang Puck’s hot chocolate, which is, according to Judy the elf, not too hot, has extra chocolate, and shaken, not stirred.  I had to try it, but this launched a conversation in the work place about the best hot chocolate. Had I not seen the pinterest recipe with condensed milk? Thus, the hot chocolate war began.

We tried condensed milk, ghiradelli bitter chocolate, and bourbon vanilla from Madagascar. Gross. Way too sweet (and that may be the first time I’ve ever uttered those words). No, thank you.

So, to my delight, The Santa Clause won yet another competition of awesomeness!

The best hot chocolate:

2 oz semisweet chocolate

1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

pinch of salt

2 c heavy cream

2 c milk (I used 2%)

1/2 c sugar

3/4 t vanilla

 

Melt the chocolate into cream, stirring constantly over medium heat.  Whisk in cocoa, sugar, salt, and vanilla over low heat. Add milk.  Enjoy!

 

WHY I WANTED A PUBLISHER

WHY I WANTED A PUBLISHER
omni
bac
hard
j
kn
omni
bac
hard
j
kn
bac
hard
j
kn
omni

WHY I WANTED A PUBLISHER

By John G. Hartness

 

 

“So why did you want a publisher? I thought you were selling a lot of ebooks on your own?” That’s a question I get a lot, and since today is a perfect example of something that I can’t do for myself, and something my publisher has done for me, I thought there was no better time than the present to answer the question.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, check out the Kindle Science Fiction & Fantasy Daily Deal for today, May 27th, and see who’s featured there – yep, it’s me!

Yes, I was self-published before I signed with Bell Bridge Books. Yes, I was selling quite well, and yes, I think I did a pretty good job promoting my work and making it onto some Amazon lists. I’m no Amanda Hocking or J. R. Rain, but I made it as far as #2 on the Kindle Horror list, and that’s a pretty good deal for a solo act.

But I wanted more. I didn’t just want more sales, although that was certainly a contributing factor. I wanted more support. I wanted a team of people behind me that all had my book’s best interests at heart. And that’s what I found at Bell Bridge – a bunch of people who work just as hard as I do to make my books better. And better-promoted. And better-branded. And better-packaged. Etc, etc, as Yul Bryner would say.

When I talk to folks who are currently self-published about my decision to sign with a publisher, I liken it to going to graduate school. My deal with BBB was for three more books, so it takes about the same length of time as a Creative Writing MFA. I’m signing a deal with a significantly lower royalty structure than I used to get as a self-published author, so there’s me paying my tuition. And at the end of my contract, I will be a much better writer than when I started. And that’s why I consider my work with Bell Bridge to be my Master’s Degree.

The work that we’ve all done on the books in The Black Knight Chronicles has been mind-blowing. The attention to detail that my work has received from the editors here has been extensive, and at times ruthless. And the books are better. I challenge anyone who read Hard Day’s Knight, Back in Black or Knight Moves in their original versions (which I still say were pretty good), then to read the Omnibus edition and tell me the stories aren’t better. The characters are better developed. The world has more details. The plot has consequences and logical outcomes.

And that’s all stuff that I could have done on my own. But I didn’t, because I didn’t know to do them. It’s not just that my editors here have had decades in the industry where I’m still relatively new, it’s that they know how to make an awesome book. And they know how to make awesome partners.

So that’s why I wanted a publisher. Because working with this one is making me a better writer. And if you want proof, go pick up The Black Knight Chronicles Omnibus, on sale today!

 

 

 

Today only, THE BLACK KNIGHT CHRONICLES OMNIBUS EDITION is only $1.99 at Amazon Kindle.

Omnibus includes, HARD DAY’S KNIGHT, BACK IN BLACK, and KNIGHT MOVES.